Sometimes you make me question my parenting. I love you with every ounce of this large body :) but sometimes...I just don't know what to do!  You are in the wonderful toddler years - so full of excitement, eager to explore, your vocabulary is amazing, you are stinking adorable... But you are also incredibly stubborn and just ornery. You do not like to share your toys (understandable of an only child) you have this demonic little yell when you don't get your way, and you're really bad about hitting. You slap us in iur faces all the time - it's so embarrassing. You slapped me so hard while shopping at Lowe's that my sunglasses flew off m face. The worker across the way gasped and shouted" oh my gosh! Are you ok???" I hurriedly said "yes" and ran out if the store. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. I panic that you are becoming unruly and if we don't stop the behavior now- it will it get so much worse as you grow up. I just get so nervous that I'm doing something wrong. I don't agree with spanking - I don't think hitting my baby when I'm mad at him will do anything but teach you that it is ok to hit when you are mad. I'm trying to stop that behavior... Not encourage it!  We try time outs but you scream and hit during them... I just don't know. I remind myself that you are oy two and you are in fact a little sweetheart... These are just phases. When you caused the biggest scene EVER at Applebee's and we had to get our food to go... Through clenched teeth...I took deep breaths and reminded both myself and daddy that this happens to parents constantly. Everyone goes through it. Breathe in Mama, Breathe out!!!! 

We lost a good buddy this past weekend. Little Macoy went to join Ma with the angels... The dr thinks he had a mass in his belly. We knew something was wrong when that fat little doggie stopped eating... Four days later, he was gone :( mama and daddy was very very sad... We cried and cried. You don't understand, you tell us everyday that Coy is sick or that Coy is with Ma. You talk about him every day and you've told us several times that you miss him. The day he passed away, I told you that Coy wasn't coming home from the vet. He was going to be with Ma. You said, in a very sad little voice, "no! I want him!" So I told you that he was sick and wanted to play with angels and you said "ok, it's just rocky now." Talk about heart wrenching! :( 

Hi little buddy!  

Today was your last tumbling class of he session... You really love going to those. You still do not listen very well during them but your motor skills have grown drastically - you can walk on the balance beam and do front rolls - two examples of thinks you could not do at the start. You actually do the stations and enjoy it rather than just aimlessly run around. They had a bounce house for a surprise today but you were too scared to even get near it ; that was frustrating because I know you would have loved it. You just are so scared of new things and it takes you a while to warm up to them... So we sat and watched the others jump and play.  Someday, you'll love things like that...but for now, you're still leery. 

We celebrated Mother's Day last weekend ; thank you for making my day so special!  You bought mama a Ross bugs and you and daddy carried it in and you were yelling "surprise!!!"  You also got me some wireless headphones for when I exercise. We went to a BBQ at grandma bye's and the whole family was there ; they all get such a kick out of you and the girls... You all can always make anyone smile. (In fact, just last night... Great aunt Theresa was having a bad night so she stopped by for a lathan hug. She said you can always make things better)  Mother's Day was nice and I'm so thankful for you- you are the reason I can celebrate that day so it's just as special for you too. It was obviously a sad day as well because I miss my mama so much... But spending special time with you makes me feel semi-whole again. You are my world. 

You are so stinking funny.  The things that come out of your mouth these days - the expressions- they're hilarious. You were rough housing with daddy the other day and accidentally bloodied his nose... You look at him and said "gross!!! Gross daddy!"  Haha. "Oh I'm so sorry you are grossed out by my bleeding nose that you caused."  You are loving Disney jr "sheriff callie" it's a cowboy-like cartoon about a sheriff cat and her horse "sparky". Naturally, Rocky has became sparky and you ride him all over the place!  You say "getting up horsey!" "Move it sparky!" Poor rocky just tolerates it. Your best little buddy. 

Your other obsession is baseball. You absolutely love going to Kendalyn's games ; we play catch with you a lot and you hit the ball off the tee. Next year, we will get you signed up for tee ball. You will be so thrilled... So will your daddy!! You started saying "baseball rocks!" (Kendalyn taught you that). You sure love your girls. 

Easter was last weekend!  Just like every other holiday...you were so much fun. We dyed Easter eggs a few days before -which you really enjoyed!  You cracked a lot, spilled the dye, re-dyed eggs, got it everywhere...but hey, you had a blast!  You talked about the eggs for hours afterwards. We hid them at Aunties house and you and the girls ran around like crazy kids grabbing them and throwing them in your baskets. When you were done you said "More eggs?" 

On Easter morning, we were laying in bed and I was telling you that the Easter bunny had came and his eggs EVERY WHERE! You said "he made a mess?" Haha. "Yes Lathan, a mess of eggs!" You were so excited to see eggs lining the hallway and hidden every where in the house. The Easter Bunny brought you a basket full of candy as different fun springlike toys!  A kite, a gardening set, flowers to plant, flip flops, and other fun stuff. We filled you up on candy and headed to church (where you certainly didn't behave) and then played outside flying a kite and watering Mama's flowers. That evening, we had Easter dinner at Ma and Poppy's and had an Easter egg hunt there too. It was perfect weather outside and the day was great - anytime we have the entire family together and let you and your cousins play..it's always great! :) 

You are such a baseball freak - you love watching a kendalyn play at her games. You cheer the etntire time and always tell for More Baseball when it's over. You tell us that you are going to play basketball and baseball when you're older. I bet you will too!  Just like your Daddy! 

You are such a great little helper - Mr Independent. You put the dogs outside yesterday and then turned around and said "I did it!!! Mama's so proud!" Ha. Apparently I tell you that a lot, but I am very proud of every thing you do. :) 

Well mama survived a year without her mamA - a year without Ma. I still remember everything about that day... Those are painful memories that will never go away ; I remember feeling as though my heart was literally broken, that there was a hole in my stomach. It is silly to say, but there were days where it felt like my heart could stop any minute because it hurt so bad. I am not sure how we all survived this year...but we did! I have said this a million times, but I couldn't have "survived" without you. With every tear that fell, you were there running my face or giving me kisses. You let me hold and cuddle you lots while I weepef over missing my mama. Thank you baby, thank you for helping me get through the worst year ever. It's funny how 4/13 stirred up so many emotions... How just the date could make me relive it all over again... More so than 4/12 or 4/14. But you stayed with mama and you helped me through. 

  It pains me to think about, but someday you will suffer pain of that magnitude. I don't want to think of the day when I'm no longer with you...but just know that I'll always be in your heart. I will always be watching you from heaven and will always be your angel. I hope and I pray that that day is when Mama is 354 years old though... I can't stand the thought of not being here on Earth with my baby boy. 

We dyed Easter eggs and aunties that evening... Something happy to distract us. Yoh were so funny! Cracking eggs left and right - you had no patience (duh, you're two) and didn't want to color or decorate them before...you just threw them in dye. The dye would splash every where, you'd reach for other people's eggs, Kass knocked over a cup of dye.. It was perfect. The perfect amount of child chaos :) We hid them afterwards and you had so much fun run around the house grabbing them for your basket. (We had severe storms so we couldn't hide them outside...in fact, we lost power for a while at Auntie's.)  either way, we managed to have a positive memory on such a hard day. We were all together and that was what mattered the most. 

Yesterday was Mama's 29th birthday!  That sounds so old!  I took off work yesterday and today to spend time with you - I can not think of a better birthday than hanging out with my favorite little mister. We met up with Auntoe, Kass, and Kambree and we went to the children's discovery center- you really enjoy that place. You just run and explore every thing!  I am so glad Topeka opened that center ... We need things like that for children.  Afterwards,  we all met Great Grandma Patty for lunch at Casa and then headed home for naptime. Mama fell asleep and we both slept for two hours. It was perfect...you cuddled with mama the whole time. We then went to visit Ma'sresting site... I just couldn't fathom not "seeing" her on my birthday. Daddy is off today and we are going to KC to do done birthday shopping for mama... Your favorite thing to do! ;) Tomorrow, we are going to the zoo to see all the amimals - Poppy bought us a membership so we get to go as much as we want to now. This will be the first time this year and as much as you've grown lately...I know you will really enjoy it. 

You continue to amaze us... You just learn something new and are always trying to say new words or form sentences. You talk ALL THE TIME now and we love it!  Your new word is "trouble". Every thing and everyone is in trouble... I guess we have said that word to you a few times! :) When we get ready to leave for daycare you shouted "Let's Roll!" Daddy said you tell him that each night when he picks you up too.  We've been having accidents in bed almost every night... You wake me up and tell me that you're wet, you need changed, and you need a towel. (We lay a towel down and change the bedding in the morning.) I hope we can start potty training soon because the peeing the bed stuff is getting gross. Haha. You are MR independent these days; "No, Baby do it"comes out of your mouth about 100 times a day. It's great that you want to start doing things on your own but it's also a fight... You want to brush your teeth...which is great, but you won't let me help you at all and mama still needs to make sure tou don't get cavities. You love walking up and down the stairs by yourself...which scares me!  I just hover right beside you. You insist on letting the dogs out by yourself, feeding yourself, etc. You're just growing up so fast. I'm not ready for you to not need Mama. 

I could listen to you talk forever in your little baby voice. It's adorable the way you express yourself these days.  You know what you want and you make sure we know... Sometimes you throw mean boy temper tantrums but other times you're a little sweetheart. If you've been mean and yelled in your "demon voice" We can usually give you a sad face and you apologize very quickly... At least you know right from wrong even if you don't always act like it. 

The weather is starting to warm up which you're very excited about - you love being outdoors.  Summer is going to be great for you.  You're still in tumbling...you aren't too interested in doing it though...you just run around and play instead of doing the "obstacles." I'm sure with time you will take instruction a little better :) 

You are still pretty picky...your staple meals are hotdogs, waffles, pbj sandwiches, and PIZZA!  You can easily eat 3 or 4 pieces of pizza...it's your absolute favorite. Speaking of food...Mama started "clean eating" two weeks a go. It's a diet of iust while foods - no processed foods, no preservatives... Just clean healthy stuff. You are not too interested in it...I tried to get you to drink almond milk and you told me it was gross. We bought "veggie hotdogs" and you gagged and almost puked (I tried those and they were pretty DISGUSting!!!) we threw the rest of the package out. I just worry do much about your health; ever since we lost Ma I just don't want to do anything that could potentially make us sick. (Meats are pumped full of additional hormones, processed foods are full of cancer causing preservatives..) I just want everyone to live long lives. My heart couldn't go on without you...that sounds cheesy but you're my world. Sooooo "clean eating" isn't really made for Lathan but daddy and I will do our best to give you the best nutrition possible...that you'll allow. 

You're such a hoot. The more you talk, the more you crack us up.

After showering last night, Mama told you to tell Daddy what all we cleaned! (As a body parts lesson...) Mama started by saying "we washed your toes, your knees, what else?" you very proudly answered "privates!" Goodness, yes Lathan... We washed your privates. Haha. What else? Gees! :) 

Mama has to get the screen replaced on my phone tomorrow... Why? Because Uou were mad I have you snicker doodle muffins instead of chocolate chip muffins so you threw my cell phone off the kitchen island... You instantly knew you were in trouble and immediately apologized. When I picked it up and saw the screen was shattered... I scolded you and you cried. Mama felt guilty all day but you needed to know that sort of behavior wasn't acceptable. Of course, my scolding was just telling you "No!" But that's enough because you are so sensitive. Soooo tomorrow, I'll pay 180 to get my phone fixed.  These terrible two's are going to kill me. 

We started a toddler tumbling class this past weekend. I thought it would be something fun for you to do and begin learning instruction, get some exercise, and prepare for future sports. You did really good!  There were some parts that you wouldn't do, like clinbing a little ladder for an "obstacle course" and the large trampoline and foam pit scared you but I think with a few more classes...you'll be a pro!  Daddy took pictures while mama did the class with you. It was a fun little day!  Afterwards, we went to the St Patrick's Day Parade downtown. You were pretty exhausted after your "exercise class" but you still enjoyed it. We met Poppy, Uncle Dave, and Aunt Sheena. You really enjoyed seeing them; David doesn't get to come back nearly as much as he wants to - medical school is very intense but he's fantastic about making sure he talks to you and the girls on FaceTime and he comes back every weekend he has available.  You definitely love your Uncle David. 

We had Kambree's first birthday party this weekend too - you had a little blast. You were right in the middle of everything... Loving the balloons, presents, cake, and everything!  It was a fabulous weekend!