Well, Mama only has a few weeks left at the Lawrence Cancer Center - then it is onto Washburn!  I just can not stop thinking about how much more time I will have with you, my little boy.  I absolutely love my career but I absolutely love being a Mama five thousand million times more - so although I will miss the patient care and interaction, I know the switch to Washburn is truly the answer to my prayers - Thank you Mom for making this happen for me - Ma is always looking out for you - her little Peter Pan.  She knew how badly I wanted the flexibility to be a full time professional but also a full-time Mama - this job will provide just that!  So only two weeks left!!! :)

Another huge change...due to my career change, we are now able to make preschool work! Before, I had no idea how we would get you dropped off and picked up - Mama and Daddy's jobs are very strict and especially with me working out of town, I couldn't just leave on my lunch break to get you picked up... we had came to the decision that we would just keep you in daycare and work extra hard with you at home.  It tore me up inside - I was so afraid that I was harming you educationally and hindering you by not sending you to preschool - in fact, the day that Mama was emailed about the job - I was telling Auntie just how upset I was that I couldn't make preschool work for you.  An hour later, I get an email about this job with great flexibility "and it would be great for my family," and here we are! SOOOO we enrolled you in Children's Day Out preschool!  IT is the same one that the girls went to - the teachers are great, weve been there for their preschool events - it is just a really good decision.  YOu will go Tuesdays 9-1 and Thursday's 9-1130.  The long day on Tuesday really makes me nervous - I wish it were only until 1130 - but unfortunately, those classes were all full. I told them to put us on the waiting list though so we will see what happens.  Mama talked to Becky (the radiation therapy program director at Washburn) and I told her that I would just use my lunch break to pick you up on Tuesdays and her reply : "why don't you just pick him up and go home for the day?  You don't even need to come back...just go hang out with him every Tuesday afternoon."  Good lord, this is just too good to be true!  Nancy will probably drop you off somedays so mama can get some work done and then you will remain at her daycare on the other days when I have to go into the office...but as of September - I have a little preschooler!!! (Heart broken Mama, here.)  Please stop growing up so fast.

Mama has kind of been limited these past few weeks - one night while Daddy was putting you to bed, I was closing up the house and making sure all of the doors were shut and locked. I saw the back garage door was shut but I wanted to make sure it was actually latched so I barely put any pressure on the window (I wasn't thinking...I should NEVER press on glass....that's a good lesson for you, my love - NEVER PRESS ON GLASS!) Anyhow, the whole panel shattered and Mama's arm went all the way through it.  Immediately, I saw that my pinky finger was just shredded - for lack of a better word.  I knew instantly I needed to get to the emergency room.  I was screaming for Daddy but he couldn't hear me because we had two fans on in the back bedroom - after a few minutes (but felt like hours) he came out and asked Why in the world I was screaming.  Seeing all the blood EVERYWHERE - he knew we had to go.  I was so worried about you though.  Even then, I was just worried about shielding you from it all - I told you that Mama had spilled her kool-aid everywhere.  I decided Poppy would take me to the emergency room so you wouldn't have to go sit there and see mama in so much pain.  You were very sad for me that I had spilled all my kool-aid though :)  Several stitches later and still possibly waiting on surgery - Mama is going to be ok.  THe finger - not so much.  It's completely dead.  I don't know if it will be deformed or what will come of it, but I just know that I am so glad it was me and not you or one of the girls.  That could have been just tragic.  Mama can handle it but I couldn't handle seeing my little loves hurt.

Last weekend was Sheena;s bachelorette party and Uncle Dave's bachelor party.  The girls stayed the night in Kansas City and all the guys went to the Ozark;s - that meant you had your FIRST SLEEPOVER!!!!!!  I was a nervous wreck for you to sleep away from Mommy and Daddy but Poppy said you did really great!  You all stayed at Auntie's house and you slept with Kassidy.  You had such a great time!  Kassidy said she didn't get any sleep :) but you told me you loved sleeping with Kass and wanted to do it again!  Such a big boy!!!!

Kam: "poop, poop, poopie!" 

Lance: "hmm, I wonder where you learned that word. Lathan, did you teach that to Kambree?"

Lathan: "that's a really good question daddy!" 

Hahahaha the things you say. 

Daddy: "is everyone nice to you at daycare?"

Lathan: "yup! They are all nice!"

Daddy: "ok, well if anyone is ever mean to you or hurts you...you tell daddy and I'll take care of it."

Lathan: "ok daddy, thank you."

Ten minutes later 

Lathan: "daddy, if anyone is ever mean to you or hurts you- I'll take care of it."

Melt my heart!!!!!!!!!!

Today is our day baby boy!  It's Mother's Day!!!!   You are the reason that I celebrate today - you have given me every thing it could ever have wanted in life. (Well actually, your daddy has given me everything bc he gave me you!) but you have completely fulfilled me. My mom always told me that having a child meant you had your heart walking around outside the body, and it is so incredibly true. You have my entire heart and every time I leave you...you take it with you. 

We had a nice day today - we spent it with the entire family. We all went to breakfast together - party of 25 - and shared stories, laughed, and just enjoyed each other. It's amazing how much our family has grown - sitting with mama's cousins and their families - it's just great to have such a big loving family. I miss my mama every second of every day, but being around her mama and sisters makes me feel her a little more.  You loooove pancakes so you really enjoyed breakfast. :) we went and spent some time with grandma bye and everyone else at her house and then came home to celebrate together. Year day, You told me that you had bought me "hand polish" so I kind of had an idea what you bought me ;) You bought me finger nail polish and some workout clothes, you are always so excited to give presents and at just so incredibly sweet. You gave me the presents and you wished me a happy valentines day ;) and then happy mamAs day. It was so sweet and followed by a great big hug and kiss.

We went to Ma's grave and took so,e flowers and a long letter to her... When mama got out of th car there was an older lady out standing at her Grave. I walked over there and asked who she was so I could introduce myself to her - she told me she actually didn't know ma but she saw all the flowers and balloons and just knew that she must have ebeen pretty special so she wanted to go talk to her for a minute.  Th lady was just standing there talking to her and w as crying at her grave. It's obvious to strangers that she was so special :) your ma was amazing. She taught me everything I kmow about being a mama - so everything that you love about me, you thank her for! 

We continue to work on our letters - you recognize up to the letter "p". You're doing fantastic!  You kmow your left from right, can count up to 30, and continue to crack us up daily. The things you say are just so funny!!!!!! 

Today, mama was offered a new job!  I will be the clinical coordinator at Washburn University- basically, I will be teaching radiation therapy at the university I graduated from. Baby boy, I made this move for you...I could not be anymore excited about it. Mama's old teacher, Becky, the current program director - sent me an email on my 30th birthday telling me that there was an opening and she wanted me to apply for it. I called and talked to her and she told me that the hours and the schedule is just so incredibly flexible she thought it would be perfect for our family so I could be with you. So I stayed up all night on my birthday getting my stuff together to apply and had my application in the mail a few days later. At my interview, they told me how flexible my schedule would be - I would be salary so I get paid whether in in the office or not - and I can leave and do stuff with you whenever I want! They said if you had a doctors appt, I just leave and do it - when you're in school, I can just leave and go to your stuff... It's just what I have always prayed for!  I know that Ma was working with god on this one!!!!!  I can not wait for this new opportunity. 

Charlie (David and Sheena's dog) is such a jealous little dog- I am not sure it it's because you are a a little boy, but he's threatened anytime you are too close to Sheena. Anyhow, he was barking at you the other day and out of no where you put your hand out and say "Charlie, I would like to extend a hand of friendship."  I about died laughing. Apparently, that's a line from IceAge. It was so funny. 

Spring is here. The weather has been in the 60's and 70's for the past few weeks- one day creeped all the way to 86!  You are loving it. We've had several afternoons at the park- you're such a little monkey there - climbing up the slide, climbing the ladders by yourself, Mr. Independent!!! One day you wanted to go climb the rocks at the lake (the dam) so we did just that. Once we got down to the lake you just wanted to stay and throw rocks into the water - I think it was a good hour before you got tired of doing that. Mama had a flashback of sitting beside Ma and doing that with her - her and poppy fished all the time and mama didn't like to fish...I would just sit there throw rocks in the water like you were doing. It made mama get sad - those memories of a happier time pop into my mind and remind me that there was a time that I wasn't motherless. Do you know how when you fall down and up run to mama to make it better?  That feeling of wanting/needing your mama never goes away...no matter how old you are. Someday, you'll understand. Mama will always be here for you though - you'll always be my baby boy! 

Easter was last weekend - it was different but nice. Uncle Ezra, auntie, and the girls spent the weekend in Wichita - typically, we would all be together, but not this year. Daddy has been really busy with side work so we couldn't go to Wichita for the weekend, Poppy wanted to spend it with GG (his mama) so we all were split up for the day. That morning, we woke you up and told you the Easter bunny had came! You were so excited as you ran through the house collecting all the eggs- you thought it was so funny that the Easter bunny out eggs in your toys!  You found your Easter basket and all of your goodies - a kite, flowers to plant, flip flops, fun water bottles, socks, tons of candy, and lots more!!!  You (and me) ate so much candy that candy that morning...and then we headed off to church.  Church - well, you're still a work in progress. At one point you were laying on the ground spinning in circles, you dropped the hymnal on the floor about 100 times- landing on grandma bye's foot once, while listening to the sermon...you very loudly and excitedly whispered "Jesus has risen! Mama! Jesus is back!"  Soooo church wasn't the greatest. Jonny's was nice though - they had an Easter egg hunt for you and Malachi - of course that was a race for you!  Although, you realized he was moving much slower so you did grab some eggs and out them in his basket!  So sweet. You ended up with so so so much candy!!! They had a huge lunch over there but we didn't eat... Auntie was headed back to town and we were going to have a late dinner and egg hunt at Poppy's house.  Dinner was very nice...you were very happy to see the girls and hunt eggs in the backyard with them. The plastic eggs were full of candy and money or as you say "treasures for your piggy bank."  The Easter bunny brought you a tackle box filled with candy and various goodies...now you're ready to fish!!!! 

Mama turned 30!!!! Eeeeek!!!!!  We didn't do a whole lot- I didn't work so we slept in (to 730) and cuddled in bed watching cartoons. Auntie and Kambree came over to play and then we all went to meet poppy, Debbie, and grandma bye for lunch. I'm at the age where hanging out with you and visiting with family is my ideal day. So my 30th birthday was quite relaxing!  

Mama took a leap of faith and applied for a career switch. On my birthday; the Washburn University radiation therapy program director emailed me and told me there would be a job opening in the program. She said the hours are really flexible and she thought it would be a great job for me that way I could be available for your future school events. Mama wants it SO SO SO bad ; I don't want to work out of town, traveling all over, having you in daycare so many hours, etc etc. This would be a great opportunity for our family and I just hope that this happens for us - whatever's supposed to happen will happen though. Mama should know by next month. Fingers crossed and prayers!!!!