SEVENTEEN WEEKS, TWO DAYS!!!!!!

"Many of the bones in your baby's body are starting to harden.  Among these first bones to develop is the inner ear which is part of the reason why your baby might be able to hear sounds such as your heart beating or your tummy growling.  He or she is now the size of a sweet potato...weighing about 6.7 ounces!"

"As you settle into your second trimester, you'll likely gain your appetite back.  Eating healthy and getting enough protein is importantas your body needs approximately 300 extra calories to help your baby develop.  You are noticing significan growth in belly size, and you're probably beginning to experience round ligament pain - it'll only get worse as your uterus continues to increase in size and push your intestines upward.  You're also starting to shift your weight to help balance your growing belly!"

Hello second trimester!  (Not like the first was anything to complain about though....) I still sometimes worry that the doctor will give me some bad news because this pregnancy has just been too darn easy!  I still have yet to have any sort of morning sickness what so ever...  I am so thankful.  My body is usually pretty tired after a long day of work but Lance is great about helping me out so much around the house so I can just rest.  He's starting making more and more dinners so I can just let my feet and body rest.  He's wonderful during this time.  Just today he woke up early and surprised me with 18 multi-colored roses and breakfast in bed!  Yesterday my handsome hubby gave me an awesome foot massage... but don't let him fool you...he's just as spoiled!  I surprised him with Boston Red Sox tickets for last night....GREAT seats so we went to that with another couple from my job.  Last weekend we went with Rebecca and Ezra and the girls for a weekend getaway to Omaha...it was a much needed vacation.  I cracked and bought some maternity pants and shorts....it was definitely that time.  My baby bump is making it quite difficult to feel comfortable in my normal ones.  Even my scrubs aren't fitting as nicely as they used to....but that's to be expected. 

We find out what we are having on September 2nd...oh my gosh we are sooooo sooooo excited!  We have a few names picked out but nothing really set in stone yet....I really like Aceton for a boy  (Aceton Rush...) that's Lance's choice for a middle name.  And Linlee for a little girl...Lin for Linda (my mom's name) and Lee is my dad's middle name and also my brother's....my middle name is Leigh as well.  SOOOO we really like those names but like I said, nothing for sure yet.  We are just waiting until we know what it is before we go too crazy on picking out names, buying clothes, etc. etc.  Lance has been working on getting the nursery ready....it had some AWFUL kitty-cat wallpaper up and so he's been busting his butt trying to remove it so we can get it primed and then painted as soon as we know what it is.  Then all the furniture and everything will come and make it just absolutely perfect for him or her!

So that's pretty much what's been going on!  Just preparation for the little one to get here!  One step at a time...

First trimester is on the way out....

Only five more days left in my first trimester....I can not believe how fast the first three months have flown by.  I feel so blessed to have had such a wonderful first trimester... I have heard so many horror stories about women that need to be on Zofran their entire pregnancy and I have yet to hardly even feel sick at all!  My chest has definitely gotten bigger (Lance makes sure to point that out to me...haha) and I can barely keep my eyes open come 10:00 at night... I hope my fatigue lightens up a little bit but hey, if that's the only symptom I have...I really can't complain!  My belly is definitely sticking out...it's starting to look a little bit less like "I eat thirty donuts a day" and more like "I have a baby in me."  You really can't tell too much with my clothes on but when I lift my shirt up there's certainly a pooch that has never been there before.  Lance loves to rub my belly, he kisses it all the time and talks about "his baby" in there.  It really is a special feeling knowing we have started a life together...it's something that no one can take away from us. 

Things with his famiily haven't gotten any better at all...we still haven't told them our good news.  It's really sad that he wants to keep something that exciting from them because he knows that it will be nothing but trouble once they find out.  I can't imagine having a family like that...I don't want to sound judgemental or anything because I know that no one's family is perfect...but I can't imagine hurting my son repeatedly.  Hurting him to the point that he no longer has anything to do with any of them... I mean he never goes around them, he skips out on as many holidays as possible.  It breaks my heart for him but we have given them a lot of chances to do the right thing and they never do.  I get worried about what's going to happen when we tell them about the baby, I'm sure there will be a lot of drama but for now we are just enjoying it together and not letting anyone take this happiness from us! :)

My mom's radiation has really helped her sacral pain.  She has four more treatments left but she's said it's helped drastically!  That makes me so happy! She continues with her hormone therapy and will resume her oral chemo-therapy once her radiation is complete. 

My grandpa's 78th birthday would have been yesterday... it was hard.  I still miss the man like crazy and not a day goes by he doesn't pop into my head a hundred times.  I see older men that look like him and my heart skips a beat for a minute...then I remember that it's not him coming to see me and then it's that feeling of loss all over again.  I had a dream about him that I was visiting him and my Grandma and when it was over they jumped in the car and drove off...I remember asking him if he was ok to drive (he had stopped driving as he got sicker...he feared for other people's safety on the road.) He told me that he had gotten better and he was able to drive again.  He looked so happy and so healthy...he wasn't using a cane or a walker..he was just my Grandpa Tino.  Man, what a wonderful man.  :)

Eleven Weeks!

"This marks a turning point for your baby - the task of developing new bodily structures is nearing an end as mnost of your baby's systems are fully formed!  Now comes the mainetnance phase...during which your fetus' systems continue to mature for the next 28 weeks and the organs get to work.  Your baby weighs half an ounce now and is the size of a PLUM! Your baby has more then doubled in size in the last three weeks!"

"As you near the end of your first trimester...your uterus, now about the size of a large grapefuit begins to migrate from the bottom of your pelvis to a front-and-center position in your abdomen.  This should bring an end to the urge to urinate! Also some of those other pesky pregnancy symptoms should begin to diminish as well."

Our appointment was Tuesday and we heard the baby's heartbeat!! It was AMAZING!!!  Lance and my mom were there and it was the cutest and the most exciting thing ever... it was 150 bpm.  I was so scared that we wouldn't be able to hear it or that we would get bad news of some sort but it was an amazing appointment.  Lance was so so so so excited...he couldn't stop smiling!  I definitely am showing more and more...but I'm feeling better and better.  I have had an almost perfect first trimester...sure, there's been times when my belly has been slightly upset and I've been really really tired but I have had NO morning sickness.  I haven't had to hug the toilet bowl once! :)  I haven't had too many cravings yet... I've craved a lot of Mexican food so far but I did that before the pregnancy so I can't really call it a "craving." haha.  Only two more weeks of the first trimester.... I can't believe how fast it has flown by!  It seems just like yesterday I took the test and Lance told me he felt like "puking."  haha... now he's rubbing my belly all the time, reading "What to Expect when you're Expecting!"  (I've caught him reading it and quoting it several times...haha) so he's very  excited to be a dad.

Things are just perfect right now.  I can't wait until my belly is HUGE! :)

Ten Weeks Two Days!

"This week your baby is officially developed enough to be called a fetus!  The good news is the most critical part of your baby's organ system development is over - your baby will grow very rapidly and will double in size by next week!  Right now it's .25 ounce and is the size of a lime! On your baby's head, the ears are forming and the reproductive organs are becoming more distinguished!"

"Inside your body, your uterus is starting to get to be too big to fit into your pelvic area and will begin to rise up into your abdomen over the next few weeks! Your abdomen is starting to protrude a bit now and your jeans are getting harder and harder to button without a struggle!"

I DEFINITELY have a baby bump... it looks more like I have spent a few too many days at all you can eat buffet's but I know that's not the case.  I find myself rubbing my belly more and more and I absolutely love when Lance does that.  We will be laying in bed and he will just rest his hand on my belly and it seriously makes me smile.  Our first appointment is Tuesday and I'm hoping and praying that everything is ok...my biggest fear is that we will go and find out that the baby stopped growing or it won't have a heartbeat.  I still very much feel pregnant so I'm hoping we get good news... I can barely keep my eyes open somedays from pregnancy fatigue and my belly will get upset or cramp every so often to remind me that I'm carrying Baby Collins in there! :) It's the most amazing feeling ever knowing that Lance and I have started a life together..I love him so much and I am so happy that I am carrying his baby inside of me....a baby formed out of love.  He is SO protective right now...he freaks out anytime I have a cramp.  He's been amazing to me through all of this...he takes such good care of me.  Nights when I get off work too late he will cook dinner and just have me rest or some days he wakes up early and makes me breakfast to surprise me so I have something good to eat before I go to work.  He gives me plenty of foot massages and back rubs because he knows after an 11 hour work day I am just down-right EXHAUSTED!  I am so happy to be with him!  :)

Tomorrow we are having the 4th of July celebration at our house... we went and bought some fun decorations for it and the family is coming over to cook out and shoot off fireworks and swim!  It will just be a great afternoon... the last two 4th's have been really sad so I'm hoping this year is better.  Two years a go my mom was admitted to the hospital the 2nd of July for pulmonary embolism's and that was the start of her cancer recurrence...when she was there she told them she had a pain in her groin and they did a scan to see if she had a clot in her femoral artery - as it turns out it was actually a bone lesion.  We spent most of the 4th in the hospital room with her.  Last year my Grandpa was admitted for what they thought was the same thing.... that was the start of his downfall as well.  They weren't blood clots in his lungs, his lungs were actually filling up with fluid from cancer cells trying to invade his lungs.  He had several chest tubes, procedures done to drain and seal his lungs, he had several hospital stays until his final one the end of October which turned into the Hospice House.  I remember watching the fireworks last year and bawling my eyes out the entire time... I knew my Grandpa wasn't doing well.  I didn't know that was going to be his last one though... :(  Man, I still miss him like crazy.

My mom starts radiation on her Sacrum on Friday... I'm hoping and praying for some pain relief for her with minimal side effects.  She deserves to get a break! 

Well on that note... I'll blog after our appointment on Tuesday!  Fingers crossed for a good appointment.  Bets on whether or not Lance will cry when we hear the heartbeat!? :)

Seven Weeks

33 weeks left!!!

"The baby is the size of a blueberry - .25 inch long and .04 an ounce.  By now, the baby's head is proportionally larger then the rest of the body and the ears and eye lids are developing. The upclose view of my baby is now looking more like a baby and less like a reptilian one.  My baby's webbed fingers and toes are differentiating now from the arm and leg buds which now have distinguished wrists and elbows that can even flex!  His or her heart beat is beating at an incredible rate of 150 beats per minute!  He or she is growing so fast!"

"My uterus, usually the size of a fist, has grown to the size of an grapefruit which is why it's common to feel abdominal cramping or even a tightening or contraction-like pain.  Whether it's unlikely I look pregnant from the outside, I most certainly fel pregnant on the inside.  Clothes might begin to feel a little tight around the tummy and it might be time to purchase a bigger bra!"

Boy!  Doesn't that sound about exact!?! I feel SO bloated all the time and all I want to wear is loose clothing...and it's only my eighth week of pregnancy.  Whew...it's going to be a LONG nine months!  Thankfully I still feel pretty darn good though...haven't had any morning sickness at all (yet.)  My belly has felt slightly upset a few times but nothing severe.  My main pregnancy symptoms so far has been very sore breasts and EXTREMELY tired!  It's so hard for me to keep my eyes open after a long day at work... but so far, I'm enjoying my pregnancy.  It still hasn't really sank in yet... our first OB appointment is July 5th and that's when we will hopefully get news of a healthy heartbeat!

On a HORRIBLE note...we lost Snoball on Tuesday, June 7th.  I've cried all week.  Our family got him when I was in the sixth grade and he's been one of the best (ornery) dogs we could have asked for...and he's been the best friend to Rocky possible.  My parents are taking it especially hard because he was the third member of their home...after fifteen years with him it's hard to not have him greet us at the door or to bark for our foods or wrestle with Rocky.  It's so hard.  We buried him last night in the back yard and we all cried and cried and cried.  You don't realize how important or how large a part of the family he was until he passed away... the house is so quiet now.  His presence is everywhere though...I still see him running laps in the back yard or sleeping under the bushes during the summer, I see him chasing David and me up the slide on the swing set in the back yard while we played "great white shark."  I see him sleeping on the couch and getting mad if anyone else was sitting there, I hear his long claws on the kitchen floor, I see Rocky jumping on his back and removing his collar so he could carry it around in his mouth, I see him standing in front of us at dinner time and barking and barking until we give him a bite of what was on our plates, I see him tearing my mom's rose bush and carrying it to her like he just did her a favor... I see me being SO excited to see him after he was gone for the weekend on a hunting trip and just running up and kissing him before I greeted my dad. I remember having to drive around so many times looking for him because he took an afternoon to himself and was running the neighborhood trying to find a girlfriend..He was just such a funny funny dog that I'm going to miss so incredibly much.  R.I.P. Snoballs....I love you and I know Grandpa Tino will take care of you. 

Four Weeks, One Day!

I told him last night! :)  My prediction was right...at first he looked like he was going to puke!  HAHA!  I had taken a picture of the test and had him look at it...he stuttered around and I could tell he was freaking out.  After it had registered with him, he got really excited.  This is what we have been trying to achieve since February and finally, almost June, we succeeded!  We had a long talk about how we were both scared but how we both really wanted this and how we are going to focus on us.  We need to have a secure and strong relationship so we can be good rolemodels for our future children... I know that won't be a problem.  This is just another committment that Lance and I chose to make to one another and so now we will be linked for the rest of our lives.

I still haven't told anyone else yet.  It's quite amusing though - I went to visit my sister and she randomly told me that she thinks we should get pregnant together.  She started going on and on about when Lance and I were going to start trying...I wanted so badly to tell her that I had two positive pregnancy tests in the last two days...but I'm nervous to!  I don't know why...but I just am!  I told Lance that I do not want his family to know until we are certain that everything will remain fine with it...they are the last people I want to know my business...especially if something goes wrong.  I hate thinking that way, but it's always a possibility.  Every one of my friends that have been pregnant had several miscarriages.  It's a very scary thought.

Like I said in the last post, I had a feeling that I was pregnant before I took the test.  My stomach has been doing some crazy stuff this past week...it's been constantly upset...I always feel like I'm on the verge of puking even though I haven't.  (Ugh, I've heard the horror stories and I'm not looking forward to the upcoming months.)  My chest has really been hurting, especially first thing in the morning.  SO...here marks the beginning of many more bad days and months to come.  But I know it will all be worth it! :)

Drum Roll Please....

SO....I took a test this morning and it came out POSITIVE!!!  Lance and I are going to have a baby!!! :)

There was a part of me that sort of knew before I took the test...I had drank a few glasses of wine last weekend and I was SO sick afterwards...I know that is what happens very early into your pregnancy.  So I was kind of thinking it was a possibility but I didn't want to just assume anything.  My cycle should have came yesterday and it didn't, so I just thought "what the heck...let's just take a test and see."  AND....here we are!!! :)  Lance has no idea yet....No one does!! I had to come to work and didn't see him so I am trying to think of the right time and place to tell him.  I hope he is excited.  I'm not sure exactly how I feel...I sort of mixed emotions.  This is what I have been wanting for a while...to be a mom....but I know that my entire life is going to change forever!  It will no longer be what I want & when I want it...my child will have to come first.  There's also all of those fears....what if something happens?  Do I want to have to go through a miscarriage...physically and emotionally I know how hard they can be on women.  I am sure these are all natural fears that all women think as soon as they find out they are pregnant... I just feel so great knowing that we have started a life together.  I just pray that everything is fine with he or she and we have a healthy baby come January 30th, 2012.  (My estimated due date according to the computer...)  I am only about four weeks pregnant right now so I will not tell too many people...SO much can happen in this first trimester that I don't want to have to explain to everyone if something happens. 

I hope my family is happy and supportive....Lance and I had a rough first year but I know that we are great together!  We have our flaws and we have our fair share of arguments and disagreements but we have just grown so much as a couple and I know that we will be great parents.  I hope everyone is happy for us...including his family, (even though I know they won't be....but wishful thinking.)

I can't wait to tell him!  I'm sure at first he will look like he's going to puke...HAHA but I know once the initial reaction passes he will be very excited to be a future father.  Wow.  CRAZY!!!!