We are going to have a son!!!! : )
We had our ultrasound and found out the great news...it was absolutely CRAZY seeing that little guy kicking and moving around in there. Lance's mouth was wide open in Awe the entire time...it was absolutely adorable. When the sonographer pointed out it was a boy Lance gave me the biggest high five - haha! He was pretty darn excited. We went to lunch with his parents and finally told them that I was pregnant and it went a lot better than I expected - they were really happy and excited to become grandparents. We had my family over that evening to announce our good news...we had bought a cake and then when they cut into it there was either blue frosting or pink frosting to tell them what we were expecting....of course they saw blue! My mom cried, my dad gave us huge hugs, everyone was so excited. Kendalyn and Kassidy even said they were excited...and they promised not to beat him up!! (Kendalyn had originally said if it were a boy she'd have to beat him up because she hated boys. LOL!)
Since we have found out, we have bought a few outfits for the little man...and we bought a shade of blue to paint the nursery. In fact, that's what the daddy-to-be is up to today... he's getting the room all ready. Next step, picking out a crib set, and registering for an upcoming shower. I am 21 weeks and still feeling absolutely amazing! I feel like I'm getting bigger by the minute but I have only gained six pounds so far so it's really all baby weight...it just feels HUGE! My placenta is in the front so I still am unable to feel the little guy rockin' and rollin' in there but I hope soon I get to feel him. Since my placenta is all right in the front, it makes my stomach feel so hard! (Abs of steel! LOL!) That kind of is a pain in the butt when I'm sitting or trying to lean over because it feels like a big rock is preventing my movement. The baby is supposedly about eight inches long and just over a pound in weight! He's getting bigger and bigger each day! I have not had any cravings really...I'm sure Lance is happy about that. He hasn't been sent out at midnight for pickles or anything, haha! It's so crazy to think back to February when Lance and I decided we wanted to conceive a child together...I remember how nervous we were the first time....it was so special though...I never felt more connected to Lance then when we were trying to start a life together. I remember that day in May when I took the pregnancy test and realized all of our "fun" was successful...Lance and I were going to have a baby! It has been such a crazy but fun ride so far...and we haven't even reached the good stuff yet...HIM! :)
On a different note....My mom's cancer spread to a couple more areas in her bones so this past Monday she started chemotherapy again....I prayed so hard that it would go into remission but at least it's remaining in the bones rather than spread to vital organs. The oncologist thinks that probably this coming week or the next she will lose her hair again... I wish more then anything that she wouldn't have to worry about things like that. I would do anything for my mom to be cancer-free and be able to just live her life without having to worry about what her next scan will show, worrying about what her future holds. I just wish she would have a break of some sort....the poor woman sure as hell deserves it! She's so strong though and she's so brave... I would be so bitter and so angry if I were in her shoes, if she feels that way - she sure never shows it. I will continue to pray that she will at some point get to lead a normal life without all the pain and fears she currently has to endure. I just love her so much...it breaks my heart so much. It's always hard to see a loved one sick, but it's been especially hard after losing my grandpa Tino less than a year a go. I know she fears that she will go down the same path he did...but each person's journey is different. Her cancer is a lot different and not nearly as aggressive as the collecting duct carcinoma my grandpa had - but no one understands what she's going through because she is the only one actually walking that path.... not us.
I really missed my Grandpa the past few weeks...I would have loved to have shared the news with him about me having a boy. Life just doesn't feel the same without him in it...I don't care how long it has been...I miss him and will miss him everyday for the rest of my life. You can't have such a huge and active role in your life for so many years and not be severely affected by it when he is no longer there - I love you Grandpa.
