Fourteen Weeks of Perfection :)

There is a lot of sadness going on with your ma. Her scans showed it moved to her soft tissue but I refuse to lose faith. We aren't even going to talk about it!

You are such a happy baby... I honestly do not think you could be anymore perfect! You have made your mommy and daddy soooo happy! You pretty much wake up smiling and laughing... It's adorable. You are learning to do raspberries and try to mimic our faces...if we stick our tongue out you try so hard to do it too. You are so perfect...I can not say it enough.

You are SO close from rolling to your back to your belly... You can go belly to back but can not master the other way yet! You can not get that arm out of the way so you end up just getting caught on your side.

You started at daycare this week...it broke my heart at the thought of sending you but it was a wonderful week. Nancy is great with you. Of course I'd rather you be with your Aunt Rebecca but it was just too hard on her and I always felt guilty... Nancy is getting paid pretty darn nice so I do not feel bad. :) Plus when I picked you up yesterday she told me how popular you are... There's only five other kids but they all just LOVE you. In fact, Nancy's daughters actually wake up early just so they can get some extra time with you before the bus comes. Already such a lady killer! :)

Kendalyn and Kassidy absolutely love you and you absolutely love them. Today you were just smiling and laughing at Kendalyn and she was tickling you with her braids. I love those girls to death and I just know you will too!

Your daddy and I celebrated two years of marriage... It's been a wonderful marriage so far. I hope you grow up to be like your daddy someday... He's a great man! You will really have some wonderful make role models... Your uncle Dave, your daddy, and your poppy. They'll teach you how to be a little gentleman! :) The ladies will just spoil you... Me, your Ma, your Auntie, your cousins.... We will just love you up! Get used to it mister! :)

You could not have been born at a better time... You've brought our family so much happiness during such a sad and scary time.

Almost Three Months!!

Little man...you really are the best thing that's ever happened to me! You are SO much fun!!!

You can now fit into some 3-6 month clothing...you should be thankful you are so long because the way you eat...you would definitely be a little chunk if you were not! You sure do LOVE your milk... You get so excited in the middle of the night when it's time to eat. We sing a "I want some milk mama..." song and you know what time it is! Funny funny!

Your Ma is still really fighting pretty darn hard! She is having such a rough time but she loves you so very much she does everything she can to spend time with you - she made your poppy take off work last Friday so you could spend the day with them. You got a good report! :) No matter how much pain she is in, she deals with it so she can hold and cuddle with you. Sometimes you want to be a mover and a groover so I will hold you and wrestle with you so she can still talk and play.

You laugh out loud all the time. You think everything is pretty funny. You try so hard to mimic us when we stick our tongues out or make raspberries with our lips. You try and end up with a face full of slobber! It's the cutest thing!

You still hate a pacifier but you can not get your hands far enough in your mouth. You suck on your whole fist! So funny!

You had your first Easter and even though you were still trying to get over a cold...you seemed to have a good day! :)

Quick Facts!

You are sooo long! Long fingers, long arms, long legs and toes! You're just so stinkin cute! You can wrap your little arms all around my neck to give me little baby hugs :)

You are still trying to get rid of your cold but you are still such a happy baby. The only time you get fussy is bedtime when you're so tired and do not want to work to nurse... We just give you a bottle and happy baby goes to sleep!

You still love your swaddle! You sleep amazing in it... We hear you fight to get your arms free in the middle of the night though. You grunt and groan and work really hard when you're ready to get up to eat. That's still about once a night! Only one time did you sleep through all the way!

You laugh and smile all the time. I think you definitely are recognizing faces... If makes me so happy! You get so excited when you see us.

You love to wiggle. We sing a "wiggle and giggle" song and you immediately start wiggling and dancing.

You still have a bad little temper when you're hungry. You definitely let us know... Real tears and all! Then you whine and complain while you're eating... You make sure we know you are not happy about the wait.

I fall more in love with you each day. You are so much fun!

Well I turned 27 this week! 27 years old, married, with a baby. My oh my... I am a grown up! :) It was a great birthday...I took the afternoon off and spent it with my little man. We did a lot of cuddling and snuggling! :) That night I just spent the evening with Lance and Lathan - they bought me a new purse and we just had a wonderful night. Lance bought me a birthday card and "Lathan" wrote "Thank you for feeding me so good and thank you for all the kisses."lt was adorable! The next night I celebrated with my family... We went to a Japanese steakhouse and did cake and presents at my parents. It made me so happy to see my mom out and about... That was the best gift of all! Thursday, I went to dinner with my friends! It was a great few days!

Lathan is the happiest little baby! He just laughs and smiles all the time... It makes my heart melt! I love him so much! He really likes to play with his toys now - he has these toys hanging down from his car seat- a cow and pig- and he just flirts with the cow! He talks to it, laughs out loud at it, and then gets shy and smiles and looks away. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen! He just talks and babbles all the time; I can not get enough of that little voice.

I took off work Friday because I thought the little guy was starting to get a cold. He sounded very congested, was sort of fussy, and was eating 1 or 2 ounces rather than 4 or 5. When I took him to the doctor they said he had a little virus - lots of nasal congestion and a sore throat. Poor baby! :( Needless to say he got a lot of extra kisses and snuggles! We ran the humidifier, gave him a hot soothing vapor baby bath, rubbed Vicks Vapor rub on his chest, and used a nose spray for him. He seems to be doing better this morning... He is all curled up on my chest right now...snoring away! He is definitely trying to sleep off his cold.

When we were at the doctor's office, Lathan weighed 12 lbs 11 ounces! Holy cow! That's two pounds in three and a half weeks. That boy can EAT! I can not believe how fast he is growing and changing. He talks and plays so much... It is just so much fun. I love being a mama!

Life has been pretty tough the past two weeks...I think I have to constantly fight back tears. I think it is just a combination of everything...

Leaving Lathan has been so hard... I absolutely hate it and it still breaks my heart leaving him each morning. I know he is fine, but I just want to spend my time with him; I want to cuddle him to sleep or play with him and just simply enjoy the little miracle I created. The whole daycare situation has been stressing me out- Rebecca has stepped up so much to help me and i know it is because my mom can not help me like she helped Rebecca. I have so much respect for that and i can not thank her enough but I know it is hard on her. Rebecca has her own life and I hate asking for that much help. On top of that, I am trying so hard to keep up with breast feeding; I pump about 2-3 times a day at work and get about 4ounces per side... That's half what I used to get. My milk supply is definitely struggling! Tonight was better, but some past days ended with me bawling my eyes out about failing my son because my milk was drying up. (I told you I have a lot going on... Do not judge me!) I will continue to try for as long as possible...I really want to do this for my little man. We stopped using the shield and sometimes he seems to hate it that way and he will just SCREAM!!! It's getting better though... I have figured out that if he sucks on my finger for a few seconds he remembers what he is supposed to do and then he is just fine! He's such a funny little guy...

Lathan is still just so much fun though. He definitely makes a bad day turn great really fast... He talks and smiles up a storm! We carry on full conversations sometimes... He just answers in babbles and coos. I love it. He has been "one of the guys lately.. " KU plays in the national championship tonight and he has been a faithful little jayhawk and has watched all the games right beside his daddy, my dad, and his Uncle Dave. I'll post a picture of him watching with Lance... It's adorable!

He still only wakes us up once a night... I wake him up in the morning around six so I can nurse him before I leave for work. He is definitely a morning person; he is always so happy in the mornings! I'm sure not... So that must come from Lance!!

He has these little pigs and cows that hang from his car seat and he LOVES them! He just gets so excited when he sees them... He gets his arms and legs a waving and a kicking, he talks, smiles, laughs. It's the cutest thing! However, he has little monkeys above his bouncer and he just doesn't get along with them! It's a joke with us that he fights with them... He starts out perfectly fine and is talking and smiling, but then he gets MAD! He starts yelling at the monkeys and sometimes he even cries! When I pick him up he will still whine and complain for a while after. I promised him we would not leave him alone with the mean monkeys ever again!

This weekend I took Lathan to Grandpa's grave. Like I said earlier, I've been having such a hard time with everything so I just wanted to go feel close to him. So the two of us went out and we talked about everything... I told him all about Lathan and just cried about how much my mom could really use him right now. When I left... I felt so much more at peace. Man I miss him.

My mom continues to struggle on a daily basis... If its not one thing, it's another! Her next scans are April 25th and the dr thinks her cancer will have progressed a lot... I sure hope he is wrong. Her mobility is so limited right now... My dad has to do basically everything for her. I hate seeing her like that but I would take my mom in a wheelchair over not at all any day of the week. I just continue to pray that the treatment begins to work for her.. She is such an amazing person and deserves nothing but happiness; it is not fair that she has to deal with so much. Despite everything going on in her life, she is still such an amazing mom and "ma." She makes a point to check in on Lathan and play with him as much as possible despite her pain and fatigue and she makes such an effort to make the girl's happy. Kendalyn and her remind me of me and my Grandpa... There is definitely a very special bond there. She's just so strong. I love you mom.