We had a second ultrasound on Lance's birthday and boy oh boy has he grown!!! Here's a picture of his profile and I must say...he might just look like his daddy.
As of right now we are leaning towards the name Lathan Rush... we wanted something original but nothing too bizarre and out there that people couldn't pronounce it or they would think "What in the world? Where'd that crazy name come from?" We both really love Lathan so I guess we will see! :) I am at 24 weeks and have gained nine pounds... I am still not excited about gaining any weight at all but I know that's just silly and selfish because baby boy needs to grow! And man...it sure feels like he's growing a TON! He is only a pound and a half but my belly has just exploded lately...Lance loves to rub it and he says he loves it when my baby bump is showing...he always wants me to wear shirts that show it off. He's such a proud daddy already...it's adorable. I gave him a hard time this morning because he grabbed my belly and gave it a kiss goodbye before he gave me one... He instantly felt bad and grabbed me and gave me a big ol' hug and kiss. Lol! I still feel pretty good...the body aches and stuff have started but I expected that. As I get bigger...I know those will only get worse. Great. I've been really busy at work lately so it's been kind of exhausting come night time but Lance is still doing an amazing job helping me out around the house and taking care of the dogs, cooking dinner, etc. etc. I'm finding it harder and harder to bend over or even to see my toes...haha. Although the baby bump is getting in the way of everyday life...I'm so blessed to have this baby boy growing inside of me and that little bump is just proof of the life Lance and I have started together. Lance worked his butt off to get little man's room ready... before it was a little girl's room and it was a light purple with wall paper and kitty cat border (absolutely hideous...) so Lance scraped and scraped to get all the wall paper and glue off and painted it a sort of sky blue. I'm so in love with the color. We bought the crib and dresser and he put that together a few weeks a go and is getting the bed ready today...the crib mattress, mattress pad, and the sheets. We haven't bought the bedding set because we are waiting to see what all we get from our baby showers...but the theme I think we are going with is "Little Aviator." Since the room is painted a sky blue, the air planes and clouds would look so cute in there. We still have to purchase the glider but we are pretty darn proud of all the progress in there. We have gotten SO many clothes for him already and they are all washed and either hung up or put away in his dresser. He's going to be SO cute...I just know it! :) My mom bought him a newborn KU track suit...which of course is Lance's favorite outfit out of all of them. There's just so many cute outfits to choose from I might just have to changes him ten times a day so he can get wear out of all them...and we haven't even had a single shower yet! We are going to be SO set! I'm so thankful that Lance and I have such a wonderful marriage now...we went through hell and back but have came out completely and totally in love with one another. He's such an amazing man...absolutely amazing.
My mom continues with her chemotherapy...she lost her hair last week and Kendalyn is having the hardest time with it. She is always so nervous what the kids at her school will say if they see her "Ma" doesn't have any hair...my mom pretends like it doesn't hurt her feelings but I know it does. I don't know how my mom maintains her strength...I find myself waking up in the middle of the night (to go to the restroom...imagine that...) but I have a mini-panic attack thinking about all the what if's. What if the chemo doesn't work, what if her scans come back bad, what if she decides to just stop her treatment all together... it's terrifying. My son needs her as a grandma and it scares me so much to think about how unpredicatble cancer truly is... at any point the cancer can just stop responding to treatment. I see it in patients all the time... we have so many repeat patients that just keep coming back for treatment and I can't imagine how they feel. I know how my heart ached when my mom's cancer metastatisized from her breast to her bones...I can only imagine getting news that it had went to the brain or major organ. It's heart breaking...each and everytime I hear of a patient returning....it just puts so much fear in me that at any time my mom might be in their shoes. I get angry and bitter a lot of the time for her... she's lived such a good life and it's just not fair that she has to deal with this. She deserves so much out of life and although I know she doesn't allow the cancer to affect her life too dramatically, I know she can't help but wish life were different. I love you so much mom and you are such an amazingly strong woman... :)
Halloween is in a few weeks...it's crazy to think that at this point last year was when my grandpa broke his femur and everything in my life went absolutely upside down. I thought that Lance and I were falling apart, my grandpa's health declined in just two short months, and I entered such a deep and dark depression I can't believe I am where I am today. I still miss my grandpa every single day...don't get me wrong...but my emotional self is so much better then it was at this time last year. I now have such a wonderful marriage, I can think of my grandpa and smile rather than cry my eyes out, and in three and half months I will be a mom! Life has truly came full circle and I couldn't be happier about it.
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