You have a bruise on your back - you call it your "bruiseter" (one of the trains on Disney's Chuggington is named Brewster- I think you have just gotten confused." ;)

List of toys that goes downstairs with us, goes in the car to daycare with us, goes to bed with us:

(Disney car characters:) Three Lightning McQueens, Mater, King, Brush, Mack Truck

Mario Car

(Disney Planes Characters:) Two Dusty's, Peter [actual name is Skipper but peter is what you named him] LeadBottom, and RipSlinger

Whew. Loading mama's pockets with five million toys five million times a day is hard work....but what's even harder is keeping track of five million toys every day. Lord knows if one comes up missing... nighttime will be a NIGHTMARE!!!!  Mama comes in to bed every night and feels around on the bed beside you to move them all...so we can do the same thing the very next morning. You love your toys! 

Another weekend down - Sunday evenings always give me the blues. I love the weekends with you, I love sleeping in with you- just this morning you woke me up by kissing my nose. Talk about a sweetheart. Daddy had to work this weekend, so it was just you and me Kid. Yesterday, we hung out with Poppy and today we spent the day at Grandma Bye's with Debbie and Rodney. Our weeks are so busy that we don't always get to see too many other people - we like to take advantage of the extra time when we can. Poppy drive us around to run errands yesterday - weatherman was calling for a blizzard...We might have gotten two inches and it's already melted. Ha. Oh well, I felt safer with him driving. Grandma Bye had the greatest afternoon with you - you two played "river monster" and she would capture you and you would have to break free. You wore her out! I love that you love her so much - I know that you would love Ma - it still stings so much that she doesn't get to really know your ornery little self. Of course, she's always watching and she's always with us...but I just wish that she would be here to enjoy these moments in person.  They all got a kick out of you today - Rodney was really impressed with your vocabulary. :) 

You and Daddy were neighborhood snow patrol this weekend. You always want to be Daddy's little helper, or as you like to call him "partners". The two of you decided to go shovel our driveway, Cheryl's, and Koty's. You told Mama to stay inside where it was warm.  Such a tender heart. 

You have gotten quite into the movie -Disney Planes; Go figure, another racing movie!  Every thing is a race with you - we have figured that is the way to get you to do stuff- we race you!  Every morning, we race each other while brushing our teeth, (you always win) we race you to get dressed (you always win) we race you to finish your food (you always win) :) Whatever it takes to get done with your daily rituals!  You are becoming such an independent little boy - you like to put on your socks and shoes by yourself, you like to go potty by yourself (we do the wiping of course haha), you like to climb in the car and car seat yourself, Mama is always standing there and ready to help at anytime...I'm not quite ready to let go of the baby reigns. 

Hopefully in the next few weeks, we get to start re-decorating your room. You want a Lightning MCQueen room with a big racecar bed.  Daddy and Mommy are working hard to pay off our debts so we are budgeting your remodel- there's really no rush because we know you sure won't sleep in it. You've already told me, you are planning on sleeping with "Baba" (mamA). When we ask you whose room ours is, you say "Baba's," Daddy asks "who else?" You reply "me." "Who else?" "Baba." Haha, not poor daddy. You told us that his room is downstairs. He's been banished to the basement. ;)

We have not done a lot of exciting things lately - we have spent a lot of time staying indoors avoiding the colds and flus, or trying to recover from the colds and flus we all caught anyways. It's been a tough winter for illnesses.  I have been working hard on your numbers and letters - you can recite the alphabet, but only recognize a few of them.  I think you're right on track for your age though - if not advanced. So Mama needs to relax. :) 

Sometimes my heart feels overwhelmed - like it is just going to burst with love for you. The other night, you and I were in Mama's bedroom dancing to "Ma's chemo bear."  (She bought me a bear that sings "I hope you dance" - her favorite song for her kids...she said the lyrics were just perfect. She found the bear at the cancer center so it has a chemo turbin on...it's adorable."  Anyhow, you were listening to the bear sing the song and we were dancing around like ballerinas together - you took my hands and started singing it. I instantly started to bawl. I am not sure if it was because it was such a special moment dancing with my baby boy, or if it was because you were singing Ma's song...I'm sure it was the combination of the two...but my love for you felt like it was going to burst our of my heart. I just picked you up and squeezed you with a big hug. 

Well...I am the proud mama if a big three year old!  Enter sad face here!!!  :( I can not believe it has been three years since I held you for the first time, since you stole my heart and changed my world completely. Time is just going by too quick. I am so proud of who you are and who you have become...I just wish it would slow down. We celebrated your birthday last weekdnd ; Uncle Dave and Aunt Sheena were only available on that one Saturday so we scheduled it so they could come. His medical school schedule is so hectic, I am so thankful he makes time for family; they drove from Wichita for your party and that was it. Talk about being loved!!!! :) we had a huge, ridiculously over the top Lightning McQueen party - you know Mama can't keep parties in moderation! Sadly, over half of your party guests were unable to attend due to illnesses; this winter has been just awful for the stomach flu and the imfluenA virus- the flu shot is actually not working because the flu strain is immune to the vaccine. It's been a tough season- thank goodness Christmas has been your only illness setback so far. Anyhow, even though it was a small party...you had a fabulous time!  The weather was actually 60 degrees so you and your friends and your girls played outside for a long time afterwards.  Daddy worked so hard to make a photo booth for you and your friends - it was so adorable!!! 

After everyone left your party, Mama and Daddy gave you your birthday present- a new lightning mcqueen bike!! We waited until people left because I always feel like we are bragging or trying to show off what we can afford; even though it is only a bike, I just still felt it was appropriate to do after your guests left. Anyhow, your bike is so big for you!!! The only options we had was a 12 inch or a 16 inch so we chose the larger one so you could use it longer. The bike has neat sound effects- you sit on it and we push you around...someday you'll learn how to actually ride it, but for now you think it's just pretty neat! 

I found a book Ma and Poopy bought you on your first birthday - she said she loved watching you grow up. It breaks my heart that was your only birthday she was here for - she was gone just a few months later. :( 

Mama took off on your birthday and spent the day doing your favorite things!  We couldn't actually go to too many places due to the flu epidemic, but Kambree came over to play, then we went to a pizza lunch buffet with auntie, Kambree, and poppy. You ate pizza until your little belly almost exploded, then we cuddled and watched the Lion King. After naptime, you wanted "chips and sauce" for dinner so we went and had Mexican food; they brought a huge icecream for the birthday boy! It was a perfect and relaxing birthday for you!  

Friday, daddy took off with mama and we hung out with our big three year old. We had your doctor appointment - she said you are obviously advanced, 83% for height, 21% for weight. We talked about your eating habits - she wasn't too terribly concerned but did say we should probably be a little more strict with making you at least try other things. We talked about your sleeping habits and she wasn't too concerned with that either - you'll sleep in your own bed eventually! Just enjoy the cuddles now! ;) 

2014

It's the end if 2014 - another year, another year of growth, another year of tears, lots of laughs, lots of love. 

You have grown so much since New Years 2013 - it is crazy how much one year can make a difference. You look less like a baby and more like a little boy with each passing day, you say and learn new things on what seems like a daily basis, you become a little more ornery and a little more stubborn with each passing day :) You continue to sleep in our bed and I am in absolutely no rush to move you out - you and I cuddle every single night and no matter how ornery you can be during the day, you are Mama's little sweetheart. I wake up so many nights and you are holding my hand in your sleep, or just completely and totally cuddled up next to me on my pillow. So yes, it's been another year of co-sleeping and I am more than OK with that.  

Another year without Ma - a lot of tears cried again this year. I know it will eventually get easier, but there will always be that void inside Mama. It's a void that you certainly helped to fill, but I still miss my Mama so much.  We spend a lot of time at her grave - you talk about "Ma's pretty flowers" and always ask for Poppy T's when we are out there - we walk over to my grandpa tino's and you look at his flowers too. 

It was the year where you lost your buddies - We lost Macoy and Rocky.  Mama still comes home and opens the door to be greeted by Rocky - the reality still hasn't sunk in. You still talk about your buddies all the time; you say that Macoy is in heaven with Ma, but Rocky is just at the doctor and will be home soon. For some reason, you don't accept that Rocky is in heaven too - you get really upset and say you miss him and just want him to come home now.  Tears Mama up inside.

It was a year of your tumbling and your little athlete class - even though you never truly learned the discipline for them, you had one heck of a time running like a wild man at your classes.  This summer, You spent a lot of time outside becoming your own little athlete - baseball is definitely your favorite. 

2014 was when you had your first experience as a ring bearer - you did so fantastic. You went to your first movie with Nancy (mama cried because it wasn't with her) You fell in love with Lightning McQueen and the Ninja Turtles, and you realized your obsession with pizza. 

I think 2015 will bring great things - you will be three years old soon, it just doesn't seem like it should be that long a go. Mama is going to go back to school to pursue a masters in healthcare administration - everything i do in life is for you, my baby boy. I want to give you the world.  I think 2015 will be a year of learning for you - you never cease to amaze me with how smart you are...I can't wait to see how much you grow in 2015. 

Thank you for helping me get through another tough year my little love. Here's to you, handsome. I love you. Happy New Years. 

Christmas 2014

Well, Christmas has come and gone - let me just tell you, it wasn't exactly what Mama had in mind. I took off Christmas Eve so I would have six straight days off with you...I had such big plans for us!  We were going to do a little special Christmas shopping at the Dollar Tree (all of Mama's shopping was done, but I wanted to let you choose something special for everyone in the family.  Auntie has always done it with the girls and it's just so cute what they come up with for everyone - I was excited to see what you would think everyone would like.). We woke up Christmas Eve and laid and cuddled in bed for a while until you started to tell me your belly hurt. By the time we had gotten out of bed and headed for the living room for breakfast...you started vomiting. I hoped and prayed it was just a fluke and that you would be fine...but several puke sessions later...I had to admit you had the stomach flu.  We spent all of Christmas Eve pushing fluids and cuddling on the couch. Every time you would get sick, you would just cry and cry. It was so heartbreaking;  you kept saying "mama, I'm so scared!"  It was so sad. By Christmas Eve night, after your bath, your spirit lifted a bit. You were pretty excited to see that Santa had stopped by while you were in the bath tub and dropped off a few early gifts!  You still weren't feeling great, but you had enough energy to tear that paper off of those presents!  You got some neat stuff like a ToyStory remote control car, books, movies, tool box, and helmet with a light on it (for when you're hard at with like Daddy)  before you went to bed, you wanted to set some cookies and milk out for Santa. You told us that Santa loved chocolate milk, Rudolph loved apples, and the dog (the inflatable Christmas dog yard art you chose for the front yard) loved grapes!  You helped set some out on the fireplace for your three Christmas friends. Fingers crossed that we could still celebrate Christmas. 

Christmas morning, we woke up and very excitedly told you that Santa had came and brought lots and lots of presents! You couldn't wait!!!! We ran to the living room, daddy was recording you as you opened your first gift and...PUKE! All over your new "don't spill the beans" board game. Some Christmas video. :( we spent the rest of Christmas just letting you watch movies, drink Gatorade, and eat crackers. Uncle Ezra and Kendalyn had started puking too so Christmas was put on hold.  You are so little, you didn't really understand "Christmas Day" but mama and daddy were pretty upset. I had been so excited and had built Christmas up so much...it was really a letdown. It broke my heart that you were so sick and that we couldn't spend Christmas with the rest of the family.  The next day, we all ventured to Poppy's and celebrated Christmas. No one got too close to each other and mama watched your every move like a hawk ; I must have asked you a million times if your belly was ok, if you were going to go sick, did we need to go to the potty?"  If you started to look a little wooZy we would just take some slow deep breaths and thankfully, no more puking!  You received a lot of really neat stuff!!!  Santa brought you a teenage mutant ninja turtles electric scooter, a Home Depot toolbench, magformers (magnets that you build "castles" with - Nancy has some and you just love them!) you got lots of cool new toys, trucks, etc. You were very happy!  

Even though Christmas was postponed, in the end, it all worked out! :) Mama got some special days of just holding and cuddling you and we were still able to celebrate Christmas with our family - just a little later!  

Christmas season is approaching!  I know I have said this every year since you have been born...but you are just such a blast during the holidays.  Every year you understand it a little more and get a little bit more excited.  You LOVE the frosty the snowman movie - we probably watch it twenty times a week.  You LOVE driving around and looking at christmas lights, singing christmas carols (Santa Clause is coming to town, rudolph the red nose reindeer, frosty the snowman, we wish you a merry christmas, and jingle bells are your current favorites) you LOVE helping Mama wrap christmas presents (pulling the longest piece of tape possible off the dispenser and just laying it where ever you feel like on the already wrapped christmas gifts) and you also just LOVE anything that has to do with "HoHo."  We were at church last weekend for "Hanging of the Greens" and they had a special guest - Santa was there!!!  Your little eyes lit up and you had the biggest smile at the sight of him - you refused to get too close to him though. As long as Mama was holding you, you were able to go give him a big high five.  Tonight is the Brosemer Christmas drawing - Santa usually makes an appearance at that so we will see how you do there also!  We put up our Christmas lights on Thanksgiving and then our Christmas tree the weekend after; you did such a fantastic job decorating it.  You hung every single ornament - carefully choosing the perfect spot and then happily turning around to show us your work with pride.  We hung our christmas stockings, put out all the holiday houses that Ma gave us, and put two very large "Tubs" of christmas decorations all through out the house.  You and I have done several christmas crafts - we did a handprint ornament this morning. Mama certianly isnt the craftiest person alive...but I try so hard.  Seeing christmas through the eyes of a child really puts me in the holiday spirit - I want to make sure that we all have the perfect Christmas!

As I know that you know...Mama just loves you so much.  I love every thing about you... but sometimes I question my parenting.  There is no manual on the wrong or the right way to do things so I am always doubting myself.  I am always so worried that I am not teaching you what I should be teaching you, that I am holding you back by not sending you to preschool, that I should be forcing you to sleep in your own bed instead of with Mama and Daddy, that I should be working harder to give you proper nutrition (even though we try so hard...you are just too stubborn to eat it.) I just question every thing!  You have been super ornery with your behavior lately... I question if I am punishing you the correct way.  I have never spanked you but time outs just aren't working.  You throw bad temper tantrums and hit us in the face if you don't get your way, you scream that you don't like us, for us to go away...and every time you see Auntie, Kambree, or Poppy you scream "I dont like them! Not poppy! Not auntie! Kambree's bad!" etc, etc.  It breaks their hearts because Auntie and Poppy love you so much...I just do not know what to do to make you stop being so ornery.  You refuse to share any of your toys (only child syndrome) and sometimes you are just out and out a mean boy.  Don't get me wrong, you are a total sweetheart though as well; that ornery behavior is definitely not all the time by any means!  Sometimes you are Poppy's little buddy and just smitten by Mama - rubbing my cheeks, holding my hand, cuddling on my lap... I think you just do not know how to properly release your emotions so it comes out as anger.  I know you will outgrow it; I just want to make sure that I am giving you the proper foundation of manners and discipline - again, it's just Mama being a crazy Mama and doubting every thing that I do!

Almost every single day, you ask about Rocky.  You have told me repeatedly how much you miss him, how you want him to come home, how he's your family, how he's your buddy... it just breaks my heart.  I always try to explain ..but end up just saying "mama misses him too, mama wants him to come home too."  Trust me little man, I understand.  I miss Rocky every day still.